Wednesday, March 28, 2007

You down with SSB?

SSB= Secret. Single. Behavior.

How very sex and the city, right? Well, yeah, so what..One of my friends, Elle* , and I were talking about ours.. You see, the longer we are single and live alone...or at least in singledom, we have really developed some righteous SSB. C'mon.. you know what I mean.. For example:

~I read my Glamour magazine in the bathtub.. with candles.. It's a ritual damnit.. and I dare someone to mess with me during it.

~When I havent done dishes (I have no dishwasher) and I expect guests, I put them on a cookie sheet (yes, while they're dirty) and shove them under the sink. Yeah. Hot.

~I often stand in my bathroom. One one leg (its comfy). and pluck my eyebrows...for like an hour. I dont even think I NEED them plucked. I just do it. Whatever.

~ Those jeans? Yeah.. I wore them already.. like 3 times.. But, whatever. Laundry is overrated.

~I typically dont shower on Sundays. (Caviat: I ALWAYS do if I smell like a bar from Sat night). I feel like it's my day off and I don't have to shower. Let the funk build. It's hot.

~My fridge is full of leftovers and take out. I'm a bachelor(ette), but you Miiiiiiight think I was a guy if you saw my fridge.

~ I'd often rather watch an MTV marathon than do ANYTHING else.. when I say anything else, I mean return phone calls, emails, etc.. It's sad actually.

~ I watch VH1 in the mornings.. the music videos... and often dance around while brushing my teeth, etc.. If a guy stays over, I watch the today show.. if anything at all.. LOL! Whatever. Dancing around isnt as fun when someone else is there!

Yeah, so you've got it.. You've got the SSB.. What's yours? I didnt have time to account for ALL mine, but there it is...



TSO - the silly one said...

nightly, i throw myself a no pants party, and only i get to attend.

oh, and i burp. LOUD.

foxysavant said...

if someone shows up unexpectedly I pile things on top of the washer and dryer and shut the door.

i also break into song at any moment, i put my dirty dishes in the oven, not under the sink and sometimes, on a particularly lazy afternoon, I watch episode after episode of whatever TV series I'm on a stint with--currently Gilmore Girls.

Elle said...

I LOVE talking about SSB. It makes me feel normal to hear other people's SSB. Some of our SSB is similar. I skip showers and wear my jeans a million times between washings too. Here are some of my others:
1. On Sundays, if I don't have anything to do, I will stay in my pajamas and watch TV all damn day and not leave the house once. I'll also sleep more than most people would believe is possible.
2. I have to sleep in pants (because I don't like feeling my prickly legs rub together) and a shirt with sleeves (because my shoulders get cold).
3. I watch kid shows/movies.
4. I also eat like a kid. My diet mainly consists of mac and cheese, PB&J, grilled cheese, spaghetti o's, noodle soup, and chocolate milk.
5. I used to get up in the middle of the night EVERY night to eat a snack. I don't do much anymore, but it used to be hard to explain when I had a "friend" stay over.

Elle said...

Oh yeah, one more: I get up every morning with approximately 10 minutes to get ready. I take makeup and flat iron with me in a bag to work and get ready in the supply closet. That's right - the supply closet. I have to be at work before almost everyone, so no one notices. I would be seriously embarrassed to admit that to a guy or worse - for him to witness my morning routine (pee & brush teeth at same time, put in contacts, brush hair, put on clothes laid out night before, run out door). That's just not impressive...

BrainyBlonde said...

Elle, you made me laugh out loud!!!!! AND my shoulders TOTALLY get cold, too!!! That's awesome!! The supply closet??!! You rock!!!

TSO- I LOVE IT!! I am doing the same thing as we speak.. (not the burping, but the sitting around in boy shorts..haha)

Foxy- YES!! I am glad Im not the only dirty dish chick..and if I had a washer/dryer in my apt, I would SOOO do that!!! Oh..and I dont sing.. but I hum.. a lot.. annoyingly so.. haha!

foxysavant said...

yeah, tried the no pants party myself last night. i'm usually a pj girl, but the no pants party was a nice addition.

Elle said...

I can't do no pants. I hate the feeling of my legs rubbing together unless I have JUST shaved them (hence the pj pants). I do the dirty dish thing too, but I shove them in the dishwasher. I don't put them in the proper places, I just stack them in there (sometimes on top of clean dishes). I should try the oven though. That might be easier.

OH! I accidentally left my $170 Chi flat iron in the supply closet yesterday (I usually wait for it to cool and go back and get it, but I forgot) and I was freaked out because I was afraid someone stole it and then I would have to tell my boss that someone took my plugged in flat iron from the supply closet and I needed them to investigate. Thank goodness, it was still nicely plugged in in the supply closet when I arrived this morning. that was close...