Judging current relationships based upon past experiences.. We all do it, right? However, there is a definite push and pull balancing act that occurs. It really is a case of how to use the experience you've got..
I'm 25. I'm not a guru of relationship truths at 25. However, I think I have learned a valuable lesson in my wise old age... Using a past relationship as experience is smart. Using it as a comparison/weighing tool is absolutely proposterous. The balancing act can be hard to achieve, though. I mean.. when you know you're not just leaning on your past as pure experience and instead stepping into the realm of placing too much emphasis on a friggin relationship that DIDNT. WORK. So your ex was a complete and utter assclown.. Okay.. I'm with ya.. use that, build from it.. Dont put up with it again. However, does that mean you should avoid any and everyone that might chew their food the same way your ex did b/c that means they too will be an utter assclown?! No. Pickin up what I'm puttin down, people? Yeah. I think ya are.
It's a tough road.. It really is. I just cannot STAND it when I see friends picking apart someone just b/c he MIGHT have SOMETHING similar to an ex.. I mean.. giving your ex the credit to affect your future relationships is giving your ex more credit than he deserves. My opinion. I don't know much.. and I often misuse the experience I have...often ignore things I shouldn't and weigh in on things I also shouldn't.. However... I'm conscious of it.. at least I try to be. That doesn't mean it's not hard.. b/c who wants to get hurt again by the same crap they endured in a previous relationship?!! Not me. Just sayin...making the effort to give credit where it's due is monumental. Failed relationships are exactly that. Failed. Use it. Learn from it. Move on.
~BB
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