Taking pictures of it..

Facebook. My turn. Remember how Mr. Ex made out with Ms. Random and photos were posted...a week after we broke up? Remember the drAGHma that ensued? Sheez. Photos of myself and Mr. Myspace made their way to facebook.. one with us drunkenly holding hands and smiling at each other in conversation. I asked my friend to remove it.. for lack of drama's sake.. and she did.. TOO LATE. So.. here I am.. in a weird situation with Mr. Ex. Should I feel bad? Definitely not. But, dooooo I? Yeah, definitely. I mean.. I dont feel badly for DOING it.. I had an awesome time. I feel badly that he had to SEE it b/c I know that totally hurts. It really is a fine line of walking the "to post photos or not to post photos." I think, from her email, that my friend kinda sorta used it as a way to say "see, you two shouldnt be friends.." Well, whether right or wrong on that notion, I am kinda hacked about the posting of the photo. Not mad, mind you.. just kinda eye-rolling-here-we-go-again-*sigh* hacked.

It really IS a perdicament..the line with Mr. Ex that is now drawn.. The "I think we're friends but maybe not" line.. the "Why are you getting jealous..wait.. maybe I was jealous.. " line.. I KNOW I dont want that anymore.. truly.. but that doesn't make stuff easy. Plus, I dont like hurting people's feelings.. even people that have deeply hurt mine. I act like such an "eye for an eye" person.. but deep down, Im a total softie b/c I know what its like to have your heart drop.. and I dont want to do that to ANYONE.

I guess it's just that I am SO tired of the drama and people being in my business with all that relationshipy stuff (yet I vent on a blog.. lol..whatever). Mr. Ex and I had mutual friends, hung at the same places and kinda have similar lives here in town. It was hard to escape when there was drama. It's nice to have Mr. Mysterious Myspace in another state b/c what people know/see is what I WANT them to know and see. For the first time in a LONG time, my feelings arent all out in the open for people to take pictures of. I'm not ready for anything else.. and I feel like any drama that begins to surround ANY relationship I'm in will cause me to totally bail. Im just not in a place to deal with any form of relationshipy drama crap. *sigh*
- BB