the goodbye

so, I'm kind of a posterchild.

yes, really.

for being a "hot nerd'
and for religious diversity. (there are five religions represented in my immediate family--of five)

and apparently, I'm the girl who you give a goodbye letter/email/talk. I think I could quite possibly be the posterchild for it (and, also for falling in love with far too deeply and far too quickly, but that's another story for another day--anyhoo.).

if you include when I was working at the gap I've gotten at least FOUR. f-o-u-r. seriously.

my most recent was sent at nearly 10 o'clock, telling me how I was one of the most interesting people he'd ever met, and how I was so cool and smart and funny, and how I was "also so extremely pretty" and how he was going to miss seeing me and seeing me laugh and smile. (this, by the way, is very good/bad for the ego, and I'm totally okay with these benefits/repercussions, thankyouverymuch!)

so, I'm wondering what it is that makes guys do this. why do they wait until they're leaving and then FINALLY let out whatever it is they have to say? in college I got the "I wish I'd taken you out on a date" from a fellow lab worker--one who I practically threw myself at. And later in college, as an intern, a lower-on-the-totem-pole intern who used to leave me funny post-it-o'-the-days wrote me a letter telling me all sorts of cool things he liked about me. The gap one was less substantial, and now there's this one.

hmm.

for the record, only one of these guys had a shot--the one who regretted having not asked me out in the first place. and it's not that I wanted the attention, it's just that I don't understand. I know that in asking someone out you're putting your heart on the line....

...but why put it on the line when you're leaving? you're less vulnerable, but then it's sure to be unrequited.


sigh.

maybe I should change my moniker. to heartbreaker? theonethatgotaway?theposterchild? thegirlthatguysdon'ttellthey'reinterestedinuntilthey'releaving?

hmm.

~smartypants (for now, anyway)