So, evvvvvveryone's a matchmaker for single girls. Gotta love that, right? This is not to say it isn't appreciated b/c sometimes your friends really DO know you the best and it's a good time. Buuuuut..
I went on a date with someone one of my BOSSES set me up with. (aka I had to go). I made it a lunch date b/c..well.. lunch is safe. Not only was this guy 10 years my senior (which isnt THAT big of a deal in the grand scheme of things), he rented the garage apartment at my boss' house. Yeah. That's. Cool. I mean.. you can guess I'm in my 20s and this guy is 10 years my senior and he's renting a garage apartment. in a city where the cost of living is like nothing. Okay, so. Lemme give you some background..
I actually dont like dating. I actually loathe dating. I usually wont go on a date unless I already kinda like someone.. well.. like him enough to not want to drown myself in my water glass at dinner, that is. I think part of my problem is that I just dont. care. I mean... I can put on the "wow, the fact that you collect paper plates is cool. when did you start that?" if I have to. But.. who really wants to do that and give some poor guy the idea that you really DO care. Bitchy? Maybe. But, all this has the caviat that I really DO like talking with and learning about people...as long as I already have SOME inkling that we have something in common. Now for my date..
We went on this "date" if you will to a local restaurant. He was short. Very short...but cute...so might as well give him the benefit of the doubt. That was my first mistake. I looked at the menu and thought "hmm.. a cheesburger...yeah.." and he, ordering first (MAJOR DATING NO NO), ordered a salad. Yeah, not even a chicken salad or something with some meat.. just a salad. Okay, so fine.. I ordered a salad, too.. Weirdo. The conversation strugged til the salad came. Thank GAWD for chips and salsa... aka an uncomfortable silence breaker... However, I soon started to HATE the chips and salsa. Why, you ask? Yeah, b/c once his plain girly salad came, he poured his salsa.. all of it.. into the salad.. with the ranch and all. WHAT WAS HE DOING?! I just fixated on his food like you would a girl with a really low cut shirt and HUGE boobs. You cant help but stare. You really cant.
The conversation then took a turn for the worst. He told me "Yeah, I really have no intention of buying a house.. I mean.. what's the hurry when I have such a great set up at [my boss']" I thought "maybe b/c you're X years old and living in a garage apartment screams grown up almost as much as living at home with mom." THEN, he blew that thought.. b/c he said "yeah, I mean.. I can go to my mom's and do laundry as much as I want. I actually go visit her around 4 times a week anyway." I had to resist the urge to run. fast. Oh, you think it's over.. It's not, my friends.. He continued to talk about how he wanted to start an interior design business. It was at this moment where I had a mental picture of this short, salsa loving, grown man, wearing a tutu and sipping tea with his pinky up. All the while, I was polite, but tried to act disinterested enough to not get a call back for second salad episode. It was at this moment that my friends from work walked in...to eat lunch...and check out my date. Yeah, AWESOME.
The rest of the date was fairly uneventful.. despite my friends at a booth nearby pointing at me and snickering...fully realizing I. was.miserable....BUT at the end, he asked for my number and I didn't know what to do. In a panic, I said "Um. I dont talk on the phone. Here's my email address." WHAT?! Who does that?! LOL! He actually DID email me...to thank me for going out with him. Right. You're welcome, bozo. Good luck with the whole decorating thing. If I ever need curtains, I know where to go.. but you're likely too short to hang them anyway. Sheez.
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