Tuesday, January 9, 2007

are they all liars?

okay, so.

girl goes into a bar to meet a coworker. who's meeting his friends. they talk about their jobs, and one of them mentions repeatedly that he's unemployed and doing odd jobs for a living. he then proceeds to talk at length about his new house that he just bought. and his nice car. and his expensive hobbies. and as he downs his third five-dollar beer, he brings up his lack-of-job once again.

he keeps ragging on the girl's coworker, saying "why don't you bring attractive women like this around more often" and "you're really pretty."

he tells disgusting stories, likening LOST to masturbation, and talking about a girl whose ass is so wide they've nicknamed her double bucket. another tale is of a guy who used vegetable oil for makeshift lube and didn't put it back in the kitchen before the morning--guess what nickname he now has? the stories are funny, but repulsive. and then the guy saunters off to mingle with others at the bar.

later in the night, he comes up to the girl and starts telling her a story. about drinking and driving. how he's having a brewsky on the way home from work, and he's almost finished with it when a cop pulls up behind him and flips on his lights. this guy chugs the rest of the beer and pulls over to the side of the road, and begins figeting with the bottle, peeling of the label. he picks at it and picks at it and picks at it, and all the while the cop is getting closer. pick, closer. pick, closer. pick, closer. when the cop is about five steps away the label comes free, and the guy slaps it on his forehead. the cop says, "son, have you been drinking?" the guy replies, "no, officer, I'm on the patch."

insert wish-i-weren't-laughing-laugh here.

then, the guy proceeds to directly address the girl, and ask her "what she does for fun." he's pleased to hear about where she lives, for it's near a biking trail. he also assures her that he really does have a job, one that pays for his needs, his frivolities and more, and then says, your coworker will give me your number, I'll give you a call.

why do guys think it's okay to lie?
and furthermore, why do they think it's okay to then undo the lie later in the evening, indicating that the lie was completely for show?

a friend of mine once told me that by wearing heels or makeup or a push-up bra that I, too, was lying. but that's a little more subtle, and a little more acceptable then saying you're unemployed just for the attention it brings. because, well, if you've gotta lie to get a girl to notice you, then you're already in trouble...


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