Monday, January 29, 2007

Guy Friends

I have a lot of guy friends. In my business, guys are all there are to befriend. I have too many guy friends. And though it can be fun to be the only girl, there are multiple downfalls to having guy friends.

1. Rather than my already over protective little (6 ft 3 in rugby playing) brother, I have inherited the likes of 16 big brothers over the entirety of the continental United States.
2. These big brothers also fall under the category of protector and judge of any gentleman I bring home. Whether a friend, a date, a lover or whatever the status is of the dude, my guys friends immediately judge him, dislike him and inform me I should never see the guy again. These statements made on various grounds, not exclusive to “he’s a jerk,” “he is homeless,” “he doesn’t appreciate my comic figure collection,” “really? Him?” and the best one “he’s not good enough for you.”
3. They are the ultimate ‘cock block.’ It is one thing to be protective of me, especially when out in public and me wearing a provocative outfit that GASP, shows my ankles. Though waiting for me to get out of the bathroom may seem the gentlemanly thing to do, it is in fact hindering me from walking past the cute guy who has been gazing and smiling at me all evening.
4. Since no man in the whole universe is good enough for me, they refuse to set me up with single guys they know. Maybe there is a tiny bit of validity behind this if perhaps all of their friends are rapists and puppy killers, but otherwise, please let me decide if the guy is right for me or not.
5. And the most annoying thing about guy friends is when they happen upon some dumb girl to date, they abruptly will put me at arm’s length so that they new bitchy, overly jealous girlfriend won’t feel threatened. Despite the fact that if I wanted her guy, I could have had him and I prolly don’t even want him!

So when you see the girl, flanked by guy friends, watching football, drinking beers and having a jovial time, remember, she’s not looking to date them. She’s looking to date their friends.

Always yours, TSO

1 comment:

smartypants said...

amen, sista. I totally feel you on this one. I have a certain friend who tries to regulate my love life from the OTHER END OF THE COUNTRY. yeesh. love him, but sometimes? yeah, wanna tell him to butt the hell out. :D