Wednesday, May 16, 2007

weighty matters...

now, don't y'all go and accuse me of being a hypocrite here. I'm not, I promise.

but for reals? I would like each of you to get out a mirror. Or stand in front of one. Or whatever. Look at it. Look at yourself.

Now repeat after me: "I am too hard on myself."

because that's what I'm finding EVERYWHERE. seriously. this applies to lots and lots of people.

Off the top of my head I can think of...(carry the one) least four close friends of mine who are really really unhappy with their bodies. They work out like mad or lament the number listed on that little tag at the back of their pants.

and if you really ARE overweight or really COULD lose a few? not so unreasonable. but most of them need to a) come over to my place, b) eat a cheeseburger and a cookout shake (chocolate cherry is my favorite) and c) relax.

being healthy? that's important.
wanting to look good? totally normal.
striving for success? bully for you!
stressing all the time about your appearance? not so much.

seriously, people. I'm no expert, but I know this: lots of people who think they need to lose weight or who obsess over every teensy fold of skin need to calm the eff down. let it go, just a little. if you like who you are, then you should like how you look. (but, on the other hand, if you're really THAT bad off, then quit complaining and do something about if for crying out loud).

I'm annoyed by this right now because one of my good friends in particular, who is soooooo not fat, thinks she is. She works out like a mad woman. And she thinks that if she gets skinny then boys with flock to her. Thing is?

if she's working out five days a week for hours each day, when's she got time for boys? and, if she deflects every single compliment by saying it's wrong (as opposed to only deflecting some or to saying you're too kind or something) what boy is going to want to put up with that?


of course, this is all coming from me. and if, for instance, someone shaped like me (fauxfoxy) came up to me (realfoxy) and said "I think I'm overweight" I might laugh until I cried. So I don't get to throw stones here 'cause I kind of can't relate to all the concerns that people have. (well, except when my body weight increased by 22% after college, but even then I went from scaryskinny to normal, so there's no room for me to complain about my bigger pants, even though I went through a phase where I was annoyed by them...but moving on.)

but what I do know is that it's the people who love themselves that others tend to love too.

so go get that mirror out again. and smile at it. and blow yourself a kiss. and think about why you're wonderful, and what makes you you. and if you're out there looking for love/like/lust, realize that you aren't going to get any of those if you don't become comfy with who and what you are, or change it until you ARE comfy.

and while you're working on that, maybe sneak in an oreo, too. :)



Kate said...

this is one fabulous post!

LMNt said...

Amen. There's almost no bigger turnoff than hearing a girl I'm dating who I think is about a 12 and a half on the ten point scale tell me her ass is too big, her boobs are too small, or she's fat. Seriously. And it happens all the time.

Trixie said...

we're all insecure about a certain part of our body. that is normal. we learn to live with it. changing one's body either via diet or exercise takes discipline. its not easy as we all know. first step to it is definitely loving one's self, the fabulousness and flaws of it all. only then will a person feel comfortable in its own skin.

Beth said...

This was such a great post and a good reminder. I used to be one of those girls who worked out all the time, skipped meals, and watched every single calorie. I used to get on the scale every day. It was an obsession. Sometime after college, I slowly broke that habit and am sooo much happier now.