Tuesday, May 22, 2007

unsportsman-like conduct

sometimes, when I'm out at a bar, I feel like I need one of these:


'cause I want to SCREAM at the people!

"offsides!"
"penalty kick!"
"personal foul!"

maybe for halloween, yeah, that's the ticket. I'll dress up as a cute little referee and give people red and yellow flags, eject them from games, the whole nine yards.

offenses:
~the guy who boxes in the gal (nobody puts baby in a corner!) and keeps her from having an escape route, which only serves to intensify his creep factor.
~the girl whose shirt is too low, whose pants are too low, whose shirt is too short, or all three! and chick-a-dees, very few of y'all can rock the bra-less look. wear a bra, okay? it's a wee bit uncomfy, perhaps, but really? your small amount of discomfort is waaaaaaaay less than the discomfort of those around you. and let's not mention the teasing.
~acting like you're better than everyone else. seriously, people DO this. like, in BARS. trust me, if you're at a bar with me, we're prolly both there for at least some of the same reasons, including the alcohol. go with it. don't think you're cooler 'cause your purse says prada or your eyelashes are fake. seriously.

so, what's the penalty, mmmm?

can we put them in time out?
give them three strikes?
or maybe even eject them from the game?

and why, oh why, do people not get it? it's not like it's hard to follow the rules. buy the lady a drink. open the door. girls, don't accept the drink unless you actually want to talk to the guy for a minute or two. and for heavens sake, wear clothes that flatter, not ones that leave little to the imagination. yeesh!


(still thinking about that referee idea....)
~foxysavant

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