"seriously, do we have to teach a class or something?"

~science/soccer

so, it's been awhile since the last post. work has been sucking away my will to live. and eat. and type out blog posts. it's enough to keep up with one...and now I find myself posting on what, five? oopsie.

anyhoodle, so, last saturday I got my hair cut. and I mean like whacked, chopped off, etc. like, oh 9-10 inches-ish? I'm donating it, sorta, but that's a long story. here's the important part: anyone with a penis seems to have a high propensity for being an idiot when a girl cuts off her hair.

some of 'em? spot on. saying exactly what they should.
"sweet haircut."
"I see you got your hair cut."
"hey, I just noticed--you cut your hair! when did you do that?"
"you got your hair cut--do you like it?"

all of these are good. some of 'em even allow you to not actually weigh in on your like/dislike of the cut.

others? not so much. I so desperately want to scream at people who say things like
"wow. that's drastic!"
or
"why'd you do that?"

yeesh.

the strangest part of all though was that someone, one of my boyfriend's friends (yes, I said boyfriend!), wanted mad props for noticing. I mean, sure, I don't see him all the time. And some of his friends didn't even realize it. But I'm like, "what, you want a cookie?!?"

apparently, he does. do they make it in shut-the-hell-up flavor? maybe I should invent a recipe for that. ;)

~foxysavant

where does the past fit in the present?

if you've been reading this blog you prolly might could know that my last long-term relationship, with a guy I don't talk about much, who I'll now call FreakishlyTall ended last october. for the record, I do not miss it. it was bad news bears, and i very much feel as though it's a case of good riddance to bad rubbish.

but, y'see...well, we were together for a year and nine months. that's a LONG time. with lots of memories and moments. and he was there for all of them.

so since the breakup (and even when we first started dating) I've been trying to be careful about which guys I introduce my friends to. especially my smugmarried friends.

recently-ish I've been introducing science/soccer to my friends. we already had some mutual ones, which is how we met, but after we hit the month mark I let the smugmarrieds meet him.

they, like every other one of my friends, like him. and as is the norm (thank goodness!) everyone seems to think he's definitely an improvement over the last guy.

but what's hard is this...
sometimes I miss FreakishlyTall. I don't want to be with him. I don't miss his kisses or the way he would sit on my offwhite chair when he came back from the gym all sweaty, or the way he let his mother strangle him with those apron strings. But sometimes? sometimes I just miss him. Like when it's friday afternoon and I want a beer and I think about how we had forties pretty much every friday we were together. Or the kick-ass parties we threw. Or when we went to Nascar. Things that happened. That even if HE was bad at 'em (and good lord knows he was) the memories overall? not too shabby...

I like to say he's a good guy but a bad boyfriend. And we were friends first, and that's significant.He's funny and a good drinking buddy and I know that if I'm ever ever in trouble I can call him and he'll come help. but I can't and won't be friends with him again, because my head knows it's wrong, and that's hard.

but the hardest part of all?
my friends miss him too. and though they all picked me, because I was friends with them first, some of them really really miss him. and I can't bring him back. and if I could I wouldn't want to. one of the couples and I talked about it the other day--I explained that I miss him, but I don't miss the part of him that treated me like that. "No one misses that part of FreakishlyTall, Foxy. Nobody."

I hate it that it seems to kind of taint Science/Soccer. I don't compare him to FreakishlyTall, but my friends can't help it--they were so overwhelmed with how good he was compared to LameExHusband that FreakishlyTall has set the bar.

what's a girl to do?

enjoy her friday of mexican food, beer and bowling, that's what! ScienceSoccer and I are going to kick MA&M's butt. :)

~foxysavant

testing...testing...one, two, three.

so, I guess I've reached a new point in my relationship with science/soccer. the point where we own up to our weird quirks, and sometimes even volunteer them. the point where we're really honest. and the point where we stop trying to analyze the other person quite so much, or at least on such a base level.

and yesterday, we talked about the tests that you put people through.

it all started 'cause we went to the same restaurant we went to on our first date. so of course we rehashed it. (and talked about how foxy-the-idiotic who picked the place chose to go to a dining establishment where she knew she'd order a pizza no longer on the menu making her look a more than a skosh high maintenance even though it's the best pizza ever and totally worth it and people do it all the time, but this is a run-on parenthetical statement and i should just end it now) and we talked about first dates. and getting to know people. and impressions. and most importantly, tests.

I, for instance, walk so that I can see if the guy is going to make the effort of opening the door for me. And see which doors. Sometimes I even walk a step faster to see if he tries to beat me to it.

A little farther on in a relationship I'll sometimes offer to pay a little earlier that I'd prefer, just to see if he takes me up on it--and how he accepts/deflects. It's just to learn more about him, it's not a deal-breaker. and I wouldn't offer to pay if I didn't have the cash.

I also usually tell a guy about my one of my friend's relationship issues de jour--not disclosing my opinion or anything too personal--to see how he thinks.

just little tests. nothing huge.

but I actually didn't start the test convo--he did. he told me about how sometimes on a first date he'll take the girl somewhere and suggest that they eat ribs for dinner because they're soooo messy, and there's no way to be all prim and proper and tidy when you're eating ribs. it's to see how she deals, and see if she's easy going.

he also informed me that opening the door, a la a bronx tale, (you pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her...that means she's a selfish broad and all you're seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast) isn't a test with him. I explained to him that I've done that since I started dating, and that once I saw that movie I knew I prolly couldn't ever stop.

I know I always make a point of making a bad pun if the opportunity presents itself, to see if our senses of humor mesh. and I'm sure there are others that I can't think of right now.

but the eating ribs thing? totally new concept to me. and it makes me curious--what tests do you give? or do your friends give? or have you been put through?

~foxysavant